ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
