so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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