Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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