NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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