Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
