Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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