First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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