Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
