she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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