I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
