I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
