We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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