so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
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Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
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My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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