I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
