Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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