doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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