No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize