After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
