You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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