I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
