lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
