We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
