is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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