I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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