I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
