These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I want a musical about memes.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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