yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
