im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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