need another drink. this is the easiest way
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
