You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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