He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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