It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
