OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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