If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm getting married
To pizza
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
