Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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