I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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