So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
