This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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