I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
