Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
