very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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