Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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