i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
