Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
