Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
