I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Randomize
