shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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