Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
