Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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