no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
