I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
