I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
