That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
