Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
