Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
