I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
there is glitter all over my balls
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