I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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