Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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