i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize