There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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