I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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