thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
