Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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