it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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