Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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